btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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