I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
