Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
