it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
