and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
