I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
