I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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