She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
