I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
