dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
