You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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