she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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