p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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