New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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