remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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