I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
