sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
