How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
