Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
