Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
