I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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