We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Congratulations! We have a period
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