we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
