my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
