the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
