Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Found your dick twin last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
