Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
