dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
