covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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