D3 body, D1 cock
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You pole danced in your parka.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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