he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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