That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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