He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
