Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
