I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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