I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
