matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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