I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I skipped work to stalk him.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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