I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
