I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
