I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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