Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
