I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
