Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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