Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
