totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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