I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
