Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
