OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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