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well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
