p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He felt like a one man threesome
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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