You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
