Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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