I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
