yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
